


It Ain't Easy Being This Good

by dreamiflame



Category: Original Work
Genre: M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Supervillains, ToT: Chocolate Box, ToT: Extra Treat, ToT: Treat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-17 09:26:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8138996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamiflame/pseuds/dreamiflame
Summary: UberEvilMan is trying to be good for a day. No one reacts well to his efforts.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Brachylagus_fandom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brachylagus_fandom/gifts).



> Happy Halloween! I loved the idea of the gay superfoe trying to do good, with poor results, so I ran with it. Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Thanks muchly to my beta for making this better.

1.

It was a classic set up. An elderly woman approached the edge of the street, teetering for a moment on the edge of the curb. A strong hand took her elbow, and she let herself down carefully, glancing up to see who had helped her.

The owner of said strong hand smiled down at her charmingly. This was a mistake.

At the sight of UberEvilMan’s brightly colored mask and cape, she screamed and ran into the street, straight into the path of a large truck.

“Well, damn,” said UberEvilMan.

The truck driver had no chance to stop. He cringed, flinging a hand up and bracing for the impact.

At the last moment, the woman lost her balance and landed on her face, and the truck passed harmlessly over her. Shocked onlookers rushed to help her out of the road. Several of them began yelling abuse at UberEvilMan for scaring the poor woman.

UberEvilMan sighed and trudged off before they got the courage to go after him. 

“It looks so easy when MajorlyGoodGuy does it. What am I doing wrong?” He asked the sky.

2.

“Stop, thief!” yelled the man, chasing after the purse snatcher who had stolen his wife’s purse. It was no good. The man quickly ran out of breath and puffed to a stop, his head hanging as he rested his hands on his knees.

He could hear a scuffle ahead of him, and a cry of pain, then the thump of a body hitting the ground. 

“I believe this is yours,” said a voice above him. It sounded a little familiar, like he’d heard it before. Maybe on tv.

The man, Roger, lifted his head, starting to smile at the good Samaritan.

When he saw UberEvilMan, Roger socked him in the stomach, grabbed his wife’s purse, and ran in the opposite direction.

“Oof!” UberEvilMan rubbed his solar plexus and frowned at the man’s back. “There’s gratitude for you.”

3.

“Help! Help!” An apartment building was on fire, and a frantic woman was screaming in the street, waving her arms in panic. “My baby’s still in there! Somebody save my baby!”

UberEvilMan sprang into action. He shot his grappling hook into the building’s roof, and swung into a mostly clear window. He put his face mask with the air filter on, and followed the sound of the baby's cry through the building's hallway.

He followed the squalling to a locked apartment door, which he broke down to get to the child. He picked the baby up, reattached his grappling hook to the roof, and let himself down to the ground. He looked for the mother to hand over the infant.

“Put down the baby!” yelled four police officers, holding their weapons on him. “Put her down, slowly, and step away!”

Somewhat nonplussed, UberEvilMan blinked at the police. Even through his mask, he could smell the smoke and ash on him, and part of one boot had melted a little from the heat.

“Put her down!”

“My baby!” yelled the frantic mother in the background. Two more police officers were keeping her back.

UberEvilMan huffed out a sigh, bent down, and carefully placed the baby on the ground. “I think she inhaled some smoke, she probably needs medical-”

“Step back!” The police with the guns gestured, and UberEvilMan stood up, taking a step back.

A moment later, he was flat on his face with a heavy weight on his back, and he was being arrested for saving a baby from burning to death.

UberEvilMan bucked the officer off, shot to his feet, and ran away. “What is _wrong_ with this city!?”

4.

MajorlyGoodGuy landed in a heroic pose. “Stop, UberEvilGuy!” he commanded. His cape fluttered in the wind. Heroically. 

UberEvilMan looked up from where he was using a pointed stick to spear trash up from the ground and put it in a garbage bag that was already more than half full. “I beg your pardon?”

Frowning, MajorlyGoodGuy took a step forward. “What are you doing?”

UberEvilMan went back to stabbing a candy wrapper. “Cleaning up the park near my lair. The littering here is awful. I saw some ducks trying to eat a used condom the other day. Why are people so insensitive?”

MajorlyGoodGuy blinked, and blinked again when UberEvilMan proceeded to ignore him as he finished cleaning up under the row of hedges he was standing beside.

“Is this some kind of weird evil plan I’m unfamiliar with?” he finally asked UberEvilMan.

UberEvilMan gave him a look that questioned his intelligence. “You think cleaning up litter is somehow an evil plan?”

“Well,” MajorlyGoodGuy said with a shrug, “most of your plans are evil. It was a pretty logical conclusion.”

“It’s International Peace Day,” said UberEvilMan. “I thought I’d try to be good.” He focused hard on MajorlyGoodGuy's face as he said it.

MajorlyGoodGuy pulled out his phone and checked the internet. Surprisingly enough, his nemesis was telling the truth. “How’s that going for you?” he asked, tucking his phone away.

UberEvilMan frowned at the ground and stabbed the next few wrappers a touch more aggressively than might have been called for. “Not so well, actually. I nearly started a riot, trying to help an elderly woman cross the street. A man hit me for getting his wife’s purse back from a mugger.” 

He put the wrappers in the trash. “And I nearly got arrested after I saved a baby from a fire. I figured no one would mind if I cleaned up the park, but clearly somebody called you.”

“Maybe,” MajorlyGoodGuy’s voice was dry, “just maybe, you should have tried doing all of this while _not_ in costume."

“Oh.” UberEvilMan glanced down at himself. “Yes, that might have toned down the reactions a bit. But how would anyone have known it was me?”

“Why do people need to?” MajorlyGoodGuy asked.

UberEvilMan stabbed more trash and didn’t answer. MajorlyGoodGuy waited for a bit, then shrugged. 

“Well, fine, don’t tell me. But since you’re not up to anything nefarious, I’m not needed.” He gathered himself, preparing for flight. “Enjoy your Peace Day.”

UberEvilMan gave a sigh, watching his nemesis fly off. “How else am I going to impress you enough to get you to date me?” he asked the rapidly vanishing hero, then turned back to his work.

This being good stuff was hard, though. Maybe he should just go back to trying to capture MajorlyGoodGuy and somehow seduce him that way.


End file.
